


I Should Tell You

by KrysKrossZee



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Rent References, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-24
Updated: 2021-02-24
Packaged: 2021-03-15 13:42:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,338
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29684847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KrysKrossZee/pseuds/KrysKrossZee
Summary: There so much that Remus wants to tell Sirius.
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 10
Kudos: 22
Collections: Music: A Magic Beyond All We Do Here





	I Should Tell You

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by [sunflower_swan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunflower_swan/pseuds/sunflower_swan) in the [MusicMagic](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/MusicMagic) collection. 



> Thanks to sunflower_swan for hosting.
> 
> Prompt used-
> 
> Rent

"I should tell you, I'm a disaster." Sirius hummed as he swung his legs back and forth, the toes of his boots skimming the surface of the water while Remus watched with a soft smile on his lips. It was always more than a little disheartening when Sirius was down on himself, but there was also something endearing about him feeling that he was less than the amazing person that he was.

"What does that make me then?" Remus couldn't help but ask. He was a living, breathing wreck of a person, and he had to use the term 'person' loosely considering what he was.

"What do you mean?" Sirius' head snapped up and Remus found that the boy was glaring at him. Remus might not have liked it when Sirius talked himself down, but Sirius downright hated it.

"Nothing." Remus said quietly with a small shake of his head before he turned his attention to the lake that was stretched out before them. There was no point in getting Sirius all wound up about his insecurities when the boy was clearly already down.

"Nothing…" Sirius repeated with a soft sigh and Remus chewed on his lip as he caught sight of the boy's pensive expression in his reflection. Remus knew that he wouldn't push the subject any further, not without feeling that he was going to have to explain where the original comment came from. It was probably just melancholy, but that didn't mean that it wasn't any less worrying.

The pair of them were quiet for a while, something that Remus found that he actually appreciated as it gave him a chance to straighten his thoughts before he turned to Sirius, crossing one leg up over his knee as he looked over at him. It was times like this that he found himself hoping that time would speed up. He had brought Sirius here, not so that they could sit there and be miserable, but because he had wanted to talk to the other boy without James or Peter listening in.

Emmeline had told him in no uncertain terms that he had to be upfront about his feelings towards Sirius if he wanted to have any sort of chance with him. Remus had argued that he couldn't risk destroying the relationship that he had with Sirius over something as trivial as his feelings, but Emmeline was always the voice of reason and she had been able to convince him that if their current relationship was as strong as Remus believed it to be then there was nothing on this earth that could change that.

For some reason, Remus found that he always believed Emmeline, and that was why he had invited Sirius down to the lake that way and it was why the two of them were now sat on the bank, practically daring the other to speak. Sirius didn't know why they were there, of course, but Remus was sure that he had probably worked it out by now, or at least had figured out that Remus had something quite serious to say, if nothing else.

"Do you know how important you are to me?" Remus asked as he cocked his head to the side and looked his crush up and down.

"Important?" Sirius asked slowly as if the concept was entirely foreign to him, but Remus knew that he had to somehow hammer this truth home, he had to somehow make Sirius see how he felt about him, and he knew that Sirius was entirely unlikely to believe him if he couldn't understand what the feelings meant in the first place.

"Yes, important." Remus nodded and before he realised what he was doing he noticed that he had taken Sirius' hand into his own. He couldn't have told you why or even when he had decided to hold Sirius' hand, but he couldn't pull away from him now and he found that he didn't want to pull away from him anyway. "You're probably the most important person in my life, even more important than James and Peter, which honestly I didn't think that was possible considering everything that you have all done for me collectively, but there's something… there's something post you."

"Something about me?" Sirius repeated, his tone confirming that he wasn't quite grasping the words that Remus was saying. Remus found himself wondering if Sirius had recently taken a bludger to the head, but he pushed that aside as he decided to press on anyway. Now that he had started to get all of this off his chest, he didn't think that he was going to be able to stop.

"You're not just my best friend." He said quietly, though he made sure that each of his words was clear so that Sirius at least had a fighting chance to understand what he was saying. "I mean, you  _ are _ my best friend, but there is something else there. I don't know if you feel it too." Remus made himself take a deep breath. "Do you remember when we first met? On the train?"

Sirius gave the smallest of nods but didn't seem to be capable of speech. This was something completely new - Sirius Black always had something to say.

"I said I didn't know how to use the wizarding money, but that wasn't strictly true. I mean, it was my first time handling money on my own, but I'm from a wizarding family so it wasn't new to me.." Remus trailed off, knowing how pathetic it sounded that he had had to make up excuses just to talk to Sirius and James, but that was the way that it had happened. Remus had never had friends before that point so he had no idea how to make that first move to talk to anyone. "It was a ruse… I hope that doesn't make me any less in your eyes, but I need you to understand how long I've harboured these feelings for you."

Sirius' eyes were wide now but Remus had to hope that that was a good thing. "Feelings?" He repeated, heis tone incredulous in a way that made Sirius want to laugh but he managed to contain himself because of the seriousness of the situation and the point that he was trying to make. "You have feelings for me?"

Remus knew that his usually colourless cheeks were now coated in a layer of punk blush, but he didn't care. He just knew that he wanted to kiss Sirius in that moment, to emphasise his point, but he made himself nod instead so that he could give the other boy a chance to process.

"Yes." He said softly. "And I understand that you probably don't reciprocate those feelings, but I wanted you to know that you're the most important thing to me, that it kills me to see you be so hard on yourself especially about things that are completely outwith your control. Your brother, your family, they're not your responsibility."

When Remus made himself meet Sirius' gaze again, he found that those grey eyes of his were practically boring into his skin. "You have feelings for me." He repeated his earlier question but this time as a statement and suddenly he had closed the distance between them and pressed his lips against Remus'.

Remus' eyes widened but he decided not to let himself even start to question what was happening as he kissed Sirius back, kissing him back tenderly, a hand resting upon the boy's shoulder. He knew then that he had been right to tell Sirius how he felt, that even if it didn't quite fix his self-esteem issues, it had hopefully helped at least a little.

"You," Sirius began as they pulled back and he took Remus' hands into his own again, "are the one who reminds me how to smile." He whispered.

Even though it wasn't an outward profession of love, Remus could hear his heart singing, and that was more than he could have asked for.


End file.
